Smoking Gun,No Magic Bullet

Back in the 2008-2009 school year I was asked by Allie's PTA president to serve as the schools Positive Parent Involvement (PPI) representative. I had never heard of the organization, but I learned that they were in charge of Red Ribbon Week which is a week dedicated to informing the students (and parents) to the dangers of Alcohol, Tobacco, and other Drugs. It was a cause that I believed in, so I took the position. I soon found myself at meetings where I learned more about the issues that kids in the district were dealing with. We had representatives from all of the public and private schools, and I can say that no matter what school (public or parochial) there are many issues that parents need to deal with. I won't go into any specifics on what any particular school had what issues, just that I became aware that there are problems from kindergarten to seniors in high school. One of the main questions that parents have is "What can I do to keep my kid away from Alcohol, Tobacco or other Drugs?" My answer to that is that there isn't any ONE thing that you can do. It needs to be a something that you keep in your mind, in their minds, and know that sometimes you are going to everything "right" and it can still turn out badly. I think that most important is to let them know about your expectations and let them know that there will be consequences if those expectations aren't met. In short, I don't think that there is a "magic bullet" that will help your kids make good choices, all you can do is gauge your own situation and stay involved, get help if you need it. Keep the conversations going, as your kids get older those conversations will get more important, and difficult, but you need to have them.

It really is never to early to discuss these issues with them. The first time that I put a cigarette to my lips I was in third grade at the latest. A friend that I played with in the neighborhood got ahold of some with his older cousin or friend (can't remember the relation). We had a spot where we hid them under a rock in a field by an abandoned pool. I think it only happened a few times, then they told me that they had gotten caught by their family and were forced to chew on a cigar.

The next time I had a cigarette I was probably about 15. A pack of Winston's had successfully made it through the washing machine because it was an unopened pack from my step-father's pocket. I'm not sure how I found it, but I took it and started up the habit. I used to walk down to the local pizza shop with a pocket full of quarters and buy a pack of Marlboro lights (my preferred brand for many years afterward) from the cigarette machine. There were plenty of places to hide out in the woods, or down by the lake to sneak a smoke with friends. I pretty much smoked cigarette's through high school and probably until I was about 22. At my highest rate I probably had about a pack a day. It is really sad to look back at those times when I was a lifeguard in Barton Glen with Tara, Rachel, and Joel, and we all smoked liked chimneys all day while watching kids swim. I was really an idiot, we all were. I don't know what happened to Rachel or Joel (he is another story) but many years ago, Tara had too much to drink one night and crashed her car into a tree and died.

Luckily, when I was 22 or so I just decided to stop smoking. Cold Turkey. After quitting I remember having nightmares about a cigarette and wake up feeling really guilty. I haven't had a cigarette since, and I haven't missed it one bit. Cigarette smoke really aggravates me now. When I see teenagers smoke now I realize how much of an idiot they look, and hope that they figure it out sooner rather than later too.

As a teenager it was much more common to see people smoking. Both of my parents (one a step-parent) smoked to some degree at the time. Teenagers at the mall, skating rink, or right in front of the school were doing it. No excuses though, it was a decision that I had made to do. For a year or two I also chewed tobacco. I'm grateful that I stopped that before my gums rotted away. I learned from my mistakes, and the mistakes of those around me.

I don't know what exactly it was that allowed me to have a healthy perspective about alcohol and drugs. I have been around pot on numerous occasions and I had never had the desire to have any. I always made up an excuse about why I had to leave, and I went home. The first time I saw someone smoking it I was probably 13-14 years old.

Talk to your kids. It isn't too early, hopefully it isn't too late. Do it. Have the difficult conversations. Even if you did some of the things that you are telling them not to do, talk to them. There isn't "one" thing that you are going to do or say that will make a difference, it is a lifestyle of choices you are trying to influence. You won't do everything right, your kids won't do everything right either, but all you can do is hope that somewhere along the line they learn how to make good choices, and that they make it through the bad ones.

I guess you could say that when that "Wheel" starts to spin you have put more good choices on the wheel to be chosen when it stops on a space.

Winding back down

The end of last week was pretty crazy. Allie had three performances on Friday, one Saturday night and one on Sunday. She was pretty exhausted from all of the rehearsals and performances and needed some down time. The week for Joe has been busy, he had mid-term exams and turned 17 on Wednesday. Exams all went well, he was two points away from getting the highest grade ever on the calculus test he took today and he finished it 40 minutes early. That is awesome! He starts guitar lessons on Friday and I am hoping to work with him and maybe relearn a thing or two. I was about 18 or so when I started playing guitar and taking lessons, so he is right on time I guess. Being able to sing and fumble around a guitar certainly didn't hurt me any. My typical audience nowadays is just Amy and Allie though.

So now the play is done, exams are done, and we can get back into our rhythm again. Amy is back to teaching one night a week and next week we all join her to start our roles as actors in her pre-trial course.

Next Tuesday we will also be receiving our first delivery of Allie's growth hormones. Then we need to go to the doctor's office on Wednesday and get our training on giving her the daily injections. Her first does will be given by Amy while we are with the nurses, then we will do them at home each night from there on out. We are keeping our fingers crossed that Allie does well with the process of the injections each night and that benefits are present after 6 months or so.

If you had read in my previous post about me letter to the editor I am happy to report that it was published last week and since then I was congratulated by my physical therapist that is working on a nasty knot in my left calf and by the librarian today. They both supported my letter regarding same sex marriage and both live here in Cedarburg, so it is nice to know that I share some opinions with people in this very conservative area.

The "Wheel" is coasting along nicely.

Acid or Base

It's been quite busy around here. Joe is back at school and work while he continues to battle a cold. The rest of us are still healthy, just pretty hectic.

Amy returns to teaching her law school class tonight and once she is ready for us, we'll all be involved in her class as litigants. Allie is neck deep in rehearsals for her play this weekend, and I am going to be assisting the production backstage for the rest of the rehearsals and the first 2 shows. I can't imagine how other families cope with tech week. Sending their kids to a brick and mortar school until 3, then have rehearsal from 4:30-7 each night. It is times like this that I reflect on how much our decision to homeschool Allie has made our lives less complicated (at times) and more enjoyable (all the time).

Sure, homeschooling is chock full of it's own challenges. Every few months when we finish a curriculum cycle we have to research our options to meet our educational needs and desires. We've had a few set backs from programs or books that just weren't working, but we've also found great resources (some free) that are wonderful. Every Sunday I go through our subjects and make a lesson plan for that coming week. I have the flexibility to change our schedule based off of other outside classes or events that influence our schedule that week. This Friday, Allie has 3 performances for her play, therefore, I have to squeeze in a little extra of some subjects in the other 4 days to make up for missing Friday.

Right now her daily courses are: Math, Vocabulary, History, Grammar, Literature, Science (Chemistry right now) Spelling, Writing, Analogies, Fitness, Art, Environmental Education. For fitness we have a regular routine that we do at our local gym three times a week. She has met with a personal trainer and has a program designed specifically for her. Once a week she also takes a Motion Evolution Class that emphasizes a broad range of movement that are used in activities. She follows that up with a 30 minute personal training session with the instructor. She takes an art class at NSAA, loves the instructor, and brings home some very cool projects which adorn the walls of our house and Amy's office. Every other week she takes a class at a local nature center and spends time outside (in all types of weather) tracking animals, learning about biomes, plants, and ecology.

It is a lot more work than I was doing while she was in a traditional school and I was regularly volunteering for the schools, and it has taken some time to adjust to the swing of things, but there hasn't been anything that I have done that makes me feel more like I am really making a bigger impact for our family. I've been out of the "normal" work force for 11 years now, and I don't miss it one bit.

Blah, blah, blah, homeschooling is great. Okay, get on with it.

Today in science we conducted a lab about how to determine if something is a base, an acid, or neutral. It is from the REAL Science Odyssey series, and I highly recommend it if you have a kid that likes science, even if you aren't homeschooling. For the lab today I had prepared a "cabbage indicator solution" by soaking a chopped up red cabbage in boiled water overnight. Then as we added different things to a small amount of that purple cabbage water solution it would change different colors if it were an acid or a base. No color change for a neutral compound. It was really neat, it was cool to see Allie's reaction as this purple solution changed to pink, or blue or green when we added a teaspoon of something into it. Although, nothing beats things that fizz when mixed like last week when we added a tablespoon of baking soda to 1/4 cup of lemon juice.

Lemon juice and Baking Soda meet- Bam! Endothermic Reaction!

Here is a picture of our little chemist with her lab sheet and cups of solution behind her with the compound that was added to the solution behind each cup.

We used vinegar, ammonia, lemon juice, water, baking soda, soap, clear soda, and salt.

Now off to pick up another kid for the carpooling I am helping with, then learn how to set the stage and swap our scenery for the play. Spin That Wheel!

Shoo the flu, Chicken Soup for the...

I don't trust the medical community for too many things. It isn't an exact science. I think it is fueled by corporations that are much more interested in making money than making people healthy. Where is the profit in someone who eats well, exercises, and lives free of stress? Unfortunately, we all have issues that require medical attention whether it is due to an accident, predisposition, or neglect to our health.

The flu seems to be making the rounds and the vaccine is in very short supply now. I get the vaccine once in a while and over the weekend I decided that I would get it this year too. It wasn't easy to find, our doctors office was out of them and told us that no more was coming in. I was able to put my name on a list at our local Walgreens and surprisingly they received a shipment and called me in. No one else in the house can get or volunteered for the vaccine. Amy can't get it due to an egg allergy, Joe was sick with a bad cold, and Allie is not a fan of needles. It will be a long time before I know if the shot was worth it, but I am willing to take the chance.

We are much more comfortable with doing things the natural/organic way. So last night I started this wonderful bone broth soup. It has chicken, coconut milk, onions, carrots, broccoli, celery, brown rice, as well as curry, turmeric, garlic, sea salt and more. It is delicious and will give our bodies a great natural boost.

If you want the recipe, let me know and I'd be happy to share it. It all cooks in a crockpot, so clean up is a breeze and left overs freeze well. Even the kids like this soup.

enlarged to show texture

Touring Scotland, a sip at a time

In a few weeks my Grammy will be 85 years old. It's been a couple of years since I've visited her in person, but I keep in touch with her by phone. Sometimes I get the Grammy that tries to get rid of me after 5 minutes and sometimes I am lucky enough to get her going for a good half hour. On one of those extended conversations she was sharing with me how she enjoys a bottle of Dewars Scotch when her sister visits. Up until that point, I had pretty much stuck with a Guinness Draught or a local microbrewery when I wanted a beer. Other than that if I had something adult to drink it would be some wine (also from a local winery).

The idea of having a glass of Scotch became pretty intriguing, so the next time I was at the grocery store I picked up a bottle of Dewars. It was quite a bit different from what I was accustomed to and I ended up mixing it with sprite to get it down. I persisted though, and eventually was able to have it straight on the rocks. Once that bottle was empty I decided that I would give it another go, so I picked up a 12 year old bottle of Glenfiddich. This Scotch really sparked an interest and a love of Scotch was born. My next bottle was an 18 year old Glenfiddich and was unbelievably smooth and full of character. This distillery is in the Speyside region of Scotland, one of the four regions that Scotland is divided into for their Scotches.

My newest bottle is also from Speyside, the Glenlivet distillery. This is a 16 year old Scotch and I wouldn't rate it as well as the Glenfiddich 18, but then again it was much less expensive and also have about 10% more alcohol in it. (You don't drink Scotch to get drunk, it is too expensive for one, you enjoy by the sip)

So my plan is to try a Scotch from each different regions over time. I did keep enough of the Glenfiddich 18 (as my favorite so far) to compare with any new bottles that I get.

It's been recommended to me that my next bottle be a 10 year old Auchentoshan from the lowlands region. Can't wait to try it out.

So I'll send some thanks to my Grammy, by tipping a glass of Scotch later tonight.

Decompression

The holidays can take a wheel and thrust it into overdrive. The day after Christmas Amy and I took advantage of not being responsible for the kids for the night and escaped up to Kohler. We've been up there for the Sunday brunch, but hadn't stayed there overnight before. It was fantastic. It was pretty slow there, we managed to have a candlelight dinner in the Wisconsin Room that probably can accommodate about 200 people, and we were the only people there. We also took a walk on some trails that they have and I spotted three deer alongside the creek. Days like that help get you through times when the kids are testing your limits or you just need to focus on that very special person in your life. We didn't have a tripod with us on the trip so these shots of both of us were taken by setting the camera onto a fence post or a desk. The first shot I took on top with Amy and the waterfall in the background I slowed the shutter speed down to get a nice effect of the water. I was really happy with how well it turned out considering the fact that I was crouched in the freezing weather trying my best to stay steady.

Blackwolf Run Lodge in the background.

Inside our room, getting ready for dinner.

We can't wait to be able to return there, hopefully in May when we will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary.

Letter to the Editor

We live in a VERY conservative area. Each week I read our local paper and cringe when I read the thoughts of some of the fellow citizens around me. Today, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut, or, I should say my fingers from typing.

Here is what was written, and my response to the editor. I will let you know next week if my comments get posted.

Marriage has not Changed

Centuries ago, the institution of marriage was created for one male and one female united in wedlock as one, and at their choosing can give birth to children. That is the definition of marriage.

A committed gay or lesbian couple cannot meet this definition of marriage because they cannon give birth to children on their own. So it's not a marriage.

But they can have a civil ceremony with the legal rights of a marriage, but they are not satisfied with that. So, now who's intolerant? Keep the sanctity of marriage.

-Ed (last name omitted from my blog), Grafton.

Ed, I sure hope that "marriage" has changed. As you say, "Centuries ago, the institution of marriage…" Don't forget that centuries ago, marriage was not an institution based off of love and romance, but of a business arrangement between two families. An arrangement where the wife was expected to be subservient to her husband in all matters. I hope things have changed. You also feel that if a couple cannot reproduce children that there is no point in being married. In the United States there are about 12% of heterosexual married couples that cannot have children. I know people that will never be able to reproduce because of a physical condition and are happily married or hope to be someday. Adoption is an option for anyone (regardless of their sexual orientation, gender, or marital status) who can care for, love, and raise a child. I know homosexual couples that have adopted children. They are wonderful parents. Sadly, there are people who are intolerant, and ignorant of what the definition of marriage should be. With divorce rates so high for heterosexuals, I think it is us who might be able to learn a thing or two from committed gay or lesbian couples. They certainly are not getting married because of a business arrangement or because they are expected to get married because someone got pregnant. If two people love each other, our society should celebrate that. It is love, not intolerance, that will make this world a better place.

-Jason Goyette, Cedarburg

So the whole issue bothers me. I totally support our gay and lesbian community. Like I said in my response I have met a nice gay couple that have adopted 3 kids that have special needs. That takes more love, and more commitment than the average person can imagine. I also know a nice lesbian couple that adopted a child from Russia over 15 years ago and they are wonderful people. But, what steamed me the most was when he said that if they can't have children then they can't be married. Excuse me, WHAT? My daughter will not be able to give birth to a biological child, but if she wants to get married someday, it will be a wedding (and a marriage) to remember!

Best Medicine?

Whenever I go to the gym to workout, I bring along my iPhone so I can listen to some music. I've gone through the trouble of creating a "Workout" playlist that is meant to inspire, while I perspire. It gets old though. So I started streaming Pandora for more variety, but even then I was getting songs that all sounded the same. Then I was inspired, why not listen to some stand up comedy clips? There is a reason that you haven't thought of this while taking a jog, or pumping iron. It is a bad idea. I made it through my pull ups without incident, and then slapped some weights onto the barbell, got into position and heaved about 135 pounds over my chest on the bench press. Then my earbuds are filled with someone actually being funny and I realize that I may be putting my life in danger. It can be a little difficult to maintain a steady breath and muscle composure when someone is imitating George Bush trying to do arithmetic. Something about 150billion percent being almost half. Things were still hovering on the awkward side when I am grinning ear to ear while on the treadmill. I'm a happy guy and all, but I don't need anyone at the gym thinking I am borderline psycho. I will be back to the old playlist next time.

We don't watch much TV in this house. When we do, it is usually a movie or Allie's favorite America's Funniest Videos (which is never on at the gym, go figure). Two great shows that we always record or watch in real time (okay, beside Packer games GO PACK GO) are Parenthood, and Justified. Pretty much polar opposites. Parenthood is a show that we can relate to. It covers relationships of married adult couples, their teen-age children and the real issues that happen in life. It is wonderfully written, and will make you laugh, or have you grabbing for a box of tissues. Then there is Justified. It's about a Federal Marshall that gets to say the best lines on TV while bending the law to catch criminals in Harlen County Kentucky. One of the reasons that I like the show is because Joe likes watching with us. It gets difficult to watch TV shows with your teenage son, common interests are harder to come by. While Parenthood is excellent, it really doesn't appeal to the teen age boy 90% time. There is a story line with a high school senior named Drew and his one and off relationship with Amy, but most of the show is more about older relationships.

Resolute

So the new year has just started and you are supposed to make some changes. Around here, changes are the norm. Make plans to go somewhere, they will be cancelled. Go out to a movie, come home after 20 minutes (true story). Get a job offer, accept it, then realize that it will end up costing you much more than you could earn financially.

Welcome to our "Spinning Wheel". 

The term has been hanging over us like a dark cloud for years. Sometimes that dark cloud will dump a torrential storm on you. It might just drizzle a bit. Or if you are lucky, it will pass quickly and the Sun will fill your skies. It wasn't that long ago that we used to wait at the check out at the grocery store and inside our heads we would make that familiar sound that comes after someone spins the wheel on the Price is Right. click click click... Will the credit card transaction go through??? Thankfully, it always did go through and even more so, going to the store now doesn't cause that moment of anxiety to reoccur.

The Wheel continues to spin. Allie has been prescribed human growth hormones twice in the past. The first time was when she was about 6 years old. She is on the smaller side for height, and the only way to help her grow more is going to be by giving her a daily injection of HGH. Needles aren't her thing, this is where the problem lies. It was too traumatic on her when she was that young so we stopped the injections within a few days. When she was 9, we heard about a new device that didn't use a needle to get the HGH into her. Instead is was a "jet" of medication that would pierce her skin. Sounds pretty good in theory. Problem was that if it wasn't 100% perfectly lined up and the area that it was being put in was 100% still, it would cut a line in the skin and puff up for days. We tried that for about 3 months before giving it up. Now Allie is 4'2" and her growth has been going slowly, so we made another appointment with her endocrinologist and we are going to give HGH another "shot". The newest device will use a needle, but it is only 1/4 long and I believe that it is a 32 gauge needle (very, very thin). We hope to start therapy in a few weeks once it get approved by insurance again.

I got a job. Then, I turned it down. With Joe going to college soon, we thought a few extra bucks would be nice to have. Turns out that if we increase our income, we end up paying more for college. Sounds stupid, and yes, it is. I am already gainfully employed around the house. Teaching homeschooling, taking care of the house, etc. Amy calls me the "glue" that holds it all together. I couldn't do it without her though, she is my rock.